Writing Is Horrible

Writing is Horrible.

Am I wrong? The process of writing is arduous torture, where you put your soul on

the line and receive very little in return. With every piece of writing I do, I feel that I

lose more and more of myself. It takes your dignity, it revels in your fear, it is

fundamentally humiliating. You take your thoughts out of the infinite expanse of your

own mind and render them naked and vulnerable on the page. Not only do those once

private thoughts become open to every criticism and interrogation that can be placed upon them, but you are forced into convincing yourself that there is some inherent merit to what you have to say. You must come to believe that your senseless screaming into the void matters.

I am terrified of writing. The idea of being narcissistic enough to sit for a period of time

and unfurl the incongruous ideas and opinions that rattle around my skull is terrifying. It

feels antithesis to how I should be and is that not the crux of this issue? That writing, sending out thoughts with certainty and confidence, does feel so unnatural. Sending tweets out into the void is one thing, but putting your thoughts and ideas into a much more direct firing line is a dangerous, intimidating business.

Why then do we write? Why do we do something that so many of us hate and fear?

Certainly, it isn’t because it is easy. I think many of us write because we are no one

without the written word. Writing is fear inspiring, and rightly so, but it is also what

we love and part of who we are. There is a burden to creation, that that which you

dedicate yourself to may, in the end, never be good enough. There is a sense that

what you are doing is futile, as it has been done countless times before you. But

there is hope also. What we write encourages us to be and do better, be that in the realm of creating fiction or in re-evaluating previous attitudes, values and beliefs. There is a faith in the form, a trust that through writing we may find clarity or liberation.

This is something I struggle with as someone who feels like a writer, but in turn does

very little writing. The fear of the blank page, the horrid aftertaste of writing thoughts onto

paper, are the demons that must be slain on my journey towards becoming a writer. Yet

they are only rewarded with further burden of creation. A prime interest of mine, however, is how this burden manifests itself in people other than myself. This blog will be somewhat about my journey to becoming a consistent, proficient writer, but it will be by looking at the creations that come from popular culture. In my view, there is no difference in the burden of creation between the novelist and the comic book writer, and, as such, I desire to analyse and encourage discussion around popular culture on the same terms as we do with high culture.

Writing remains horrible to me, even as I begin to feel more skilled or more accomplished

in it. Every time I sit down to face this challenge I am barraged by the same fears and

doubts that have assaulted me a thousand times. Yet, I think I also forget how fun it can

be, how blessed the sensation of flowing prose is and how it feels to see an idea from inception to execution. That is what I need to hold close to me, as I move forwards: the great love I have for writing.